Jerry, you need to find god
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
