i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
well I can't set my house on fire every night
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
you never un-have a 4some
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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