But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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