Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
