u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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