that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
