I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
