I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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