i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
She's the barista slut.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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