I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Girls should come with a carfax report
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Randomize
