Bisexual people are plain selfish.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How naked do you want me to be?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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