all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
