The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
