He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
