Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
