Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
