Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
