so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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