Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
