He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
You were trust falling into bushes
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
