do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
