And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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