i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
