i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
