it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
