another moral hangover. fuck.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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