I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
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