I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Congratulations! We have a period
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