He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
