Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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