He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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