Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
