to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
