I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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