Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
