Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
