weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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