Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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