just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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