Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
