I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
