I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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