So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
