so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I skipped work to stalk him.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
