AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize
