You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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