dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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