i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
