Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
