i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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