i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
