..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I enjoy the company of your penis
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
