you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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