He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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