My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
that is very illegal...i love you.
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